Q.
My newborn has her days and nights mixed up, is there anything I can do?
A.
Possibly. Many babies eventually get this worked out on their own without any influence. There are also some little ones who want to only catnap until they are several months old, no matter what you do.
From my own experience, there are some tips that are helpful in encouraging a more normal nighttime sleep for your baby. First lower your expectations as far as a full nights sleep for yourself is concerned and take in lots of patience for the possible long haul with this. For a newborn, four or five hours of nighttime sleep is a full night!
Next, remember to keep things dark and quieter at night and then bright with normal, active sound levels during the day. At night, a warm bath and pajamas with swaddling helps as a routine to signal the difference of bedtime to your baby. Some parents will double diaper and put a thick layer of diaper rash ointment on baby’s bottom before the last swaddle for bed. Unless baby has a soiled diaper, they leave her unchanged. If your baby needs a change at night, do so as calmly, quietly and with the dimmest light that you can.
Breastfeeding mothers sometimes try cluster feeding before bed. They will feed the baby for longer periods of time and often several times the last few hours before bedtime. Babies digest food so quickly. Their stomachs are around the size of a ping-pong ball in their first week of life and the size of a chicken egg by the second week of life. That’s why they need so many little meals. Many mothers rely on cluster feeding as a way to keep baby topped off before bed and more full for a longer snoozing time.
These changes often help steer the baby towards nighttime sleep but it takes more than one day of this new approach to see results. Many parents have said to me that they noticed a difference within a week and some sooner. Some had to wait another trimester!
It is difficult to adjust to the lack of rest that is so normal in the early months. Some of us totally have to redefine how we get recharged as parents. Try to keep in mind that this short sleep-deprived, foggy time will indeed eventually pass. Go easy on yourself. Try to nap when your baby does and try to stick to a normal morning and evening routine for your own sanity. Enlist the help of a postnatal Doula who can help during the day and even at night to help you catch up and regroup. This is a tender and sweet time for you and your baby, especially when you have the support you need. You may just float right through this fog straight into the next brighter and more rested stage of development with your little one.Maggie Crawford, CD(DONA) LCCE
Q.
What kind of music should I play for my newborn to help them developmentally?
A.
Hearing is your baby’s first sense to develop in the womb and months before they make their debut into the world, they already have an intrinsic sense of music through their mother’s voice and heartbeat. Language is, in fact, music to a newborn – and is your baby’s first experience of tone, rhythm and pattern in sound.
Months before your baby begins to actively see, they are actively listening, and an enriched musical environment will help to build this sense. Parents instinctively know that singing to their babies will calm and comfort them, and needless to say, the power of musical sound reveals itself when we first hear our baby’s music babble – the lovely sounds, chirps, coos and laughter that begin to emerge during the first few months of life.
To nurture your baby’s developmental growth, play a wide variety of music for them, and interact with them through bouncing, rocking and singing along. From classical music, to songs from your cultural roots, from “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” to world beat; they will reap the benefits of exposure to music.
However, despite our own love of hard rock and loud wailing, it’s best to save loud jarring music for later in their developmental lives. No need to beat our babies over the head with music! Their little ears are super sensitive, and they will benefit most from an interplay that allows them to respond to sound without being overwhelmed by it. Above all, have fun with music and your baby - you are building a lifetime of creativity through musical play. Nanette De Cillis, Music Specialist
Q.
I can't put my baby down; what's wrong with him?
A.
Babies are hard-wired to prefer close human contact. They know what they need and what best optimizes their development. When close to mother, her body automatically regulates their temperature, respiration and pulse so all their energy can go toward growth. Close to mother, the hormones that govern their state of being move naturally from arousal to calm to deep sleep. That's normal newborn behavior. I recommend acquiring a small wardrobe of slings, wraps and later, carriers and gaining fluency in their use so you can easily give your baby the closeness he needs with little or no effort on your part!Ina Bransome, Certified Doula
Mommy Needs
Q.
He can't be hungry again; I just fed him an hour ago!
A.
The size of an average newborn's tummy has a holding capacity ranging from a sixth of an ounce on Day 1 to only an ounce and a half or so by the time he's ten days old. And our milk is low in fat, high in water and full of enzymes so it's quickly digested. So, yes! He may well want to eat again! An early sign of hunger, a good 20 minutes before baby resorts to crying: if baby begins to change the position of his head or hands, having been in a deep sleep for a while, he's beginning to wake up. You might try walking with him into a dimly lit bathroom and listening together to the sound of running water. This may settle him but if not, offer him your breast and notice what he does. You are learning to see what he wants from closely observing him. Ina Bransome, Certified Doula
Q.
How can my partner learn to soothe our baby?
A.
Partners can become skilled at soothing their newborn. For example, walking baby around, possibly in a sling and whenever possible, outdoors or giving baby a guided house tour can help get you through a difficult moment. I I teach Dads easy-to-learn positions so they become skilled at settling baby from the first night home. Call early and avoid frustration! Ina Bransome, Certified Doula.
Q.
I can't control my bladder when I sneeze or jump--what do I do??
A.
The answer is simple. Kegel exercises. Your pelvic floor muscles are weakened from the birth and from carrying the extra baby wieght. Even women who have had c-sections may suffer from some type of incontinence just from the weight of pregnancy, this too can be temporary. Kegel exercises aim to contract the muscles of your vaginal wall and perenium. Feel like you are squeezing as you would if you were to hold the flow of urine. This exercise is recommended to do periodically throughout the day, try to do 3 sets of 50 each day. Pick times in your day that you would be more likely to remember--breastfeeding is a perfect time as the uterus is contracting. Waiting for an elevator, or during your subway ride is a fabulous time too. Marisa Sullivan, Certified Post Natal Yoga Instructor
Breast Feeding
Q.
How do I know baby's actually getting anything at the breast?
A.
One way is to listen closely to your newborn during nursing. See if you can learn to notice a characteristic dull whoosh or click each time she swallows. Hearing baby's swallows gives you assurance that she's actually getting something. Ina Bransome, Certified Doula.
Q.
My baby's mouth won't open wide for a good latch. Is there anything I can do to help him open his mouth more? My breasts are starting to get sore.
A.
This is a great question and a very common one in the early days of breastfeeding. New babies often don't open their mouths very wide at the breast for several reasons. One is that they are very sleepy after the first few hours after birth, often for several days or longer. They are "recovering" from the birth process just like you are! Another reason is that we often try to feed our babies all wrapped up and they get overheated making them even more sleepy. A sleepy baby may not open its mouth at all or exhibit what I like to call the "baby bird" syndrome; opening just a tiny little bit, which can lead to those "sore nipples" you are having.
Some suggestions that may help:
Unwrap your baby
Get your baby "skin to skin" as much as possible. Take off any blankets, undo the baby's clothing and hold your baby on your upper chest. Babies will usually start to "root" meaning start to bob their heads and lick or suck your skin. This is a great sign your baby is ready to latch.
If your baby is still very sleepy, massage his or her skin, talk to your baby (they know your voice from in utero). If all else fails, try a diaper change which will often wake them.
When bringing baby to breast, try to have the baby be positioned slightly under the nipple rather than over the nipple as this will help the baby get a deeper latch. You can do this by positioning your nipple between the baby's mouth and nose rather than aiming straight for the baby's mouth.
This way when the baby opens its mouth it is more likely the baby will get a deeper latch.
Wait until the baby opens widely and then bring the baby quickly and deeply onto the breast getting as much of the nipple tissue as possible into the baby's mouth. Do not attempt to put your nipple in the baby's mouth if it doesn't open or opens only a tiny bit. Doing this will usually cause a shallow latch and end up being painful for you.
Once the baby's on and sucking well it may be uncomfortable for you for about 15-30 seconds and then should be OK! It should not feel "pinchy", burning or sharp. If it does, try to bring the baby closer and see if it gets better.
Lastly, it's very important to support the arm which is holding the baby to breast so the baby doesn't slip down the nipple making the latch shallower and again becoming painful. Use bed or couch pillows, rolled up blankets or towels to support your arm.
Remember the deeper the latch, the more milk your baby gets and the less pain and damage to your nipples! A win-win situation for you both!
A great website which can help you become a pro at latching is: www.ameda.com. This site has a great video which shows a proper latch. Click on the Breastfeeding tab, then Breastfeeding Basics, click on Just for Mom, then Sore Nipples, then Latch-On and watch the video.Gretchen Farrell, Registered Nurse, Lactation Consultant, Certified Childbirth Educator.
Fitness
Q.
My stomach feels mushier than ever since having my daughter 18 months ago. I thought I'd have my body back by now. What is happening?
A.
For some women pregnancy can cause abdominal separation (also called diastasis recti), a condition where the right and left sides of the Rectus Abdominis muscle spreads apart at the body’s midline, the linea alba. Separation occurs because of a forward force of the uterus pushing against the abdominal wall, and pregnancy hormones that soften connective tissue. Separation can occur anytime in the last half of pregnancy but is most problematic after pregnancy when the abdominal wall is weak. This may be why your stomach area is feeling mushy. This separation can reduce the function and form of your abdominal area (the CORE) and may aggravate lower back pain and pelvic instability. Most traditional abdominal exercises that work the exterior abdominal muscles, such as crunches and oblique curls are not recommend. You may want to find a certified personal trainer or exercise class that will address the concerns of the Post Pregnant Body.
Michelle Crawford M.A., NASM Certified Personal Trainer
Q.
I feel like I am a machine: always responding to the needs around me and never ahead of the game. How can I stop and get on solid ground when I am always in demand. I feel like I am burning out and my baby is only three weeks old…
A.
It is very normal to feel like you are on a never ending treadmill. Your body is recovering from giving birth and you new bundle of joy is needing you for everything. Take a deep breath, and let it out. Repeat as often as necessary. Ujayi Pranayama (Ocean Sounding Breath) is another easy, hands-free stress reliever and muscle relaxant. Any chants or songs you know and love can help calm both you and your baby. Try to keep this time as sacred as possible. Babies grow and change so fast. It is recommend that you ask for help and support. Now is not the time to be shy. Let friends and partners bring you meals, wash dishes, and other household tasks. You need to rest as much as your baby does.
